Big hopes
by Courtney Anne Shadow
Summary: \\ I'm Shizuo Heiwajima, and I'm a writer. / \\ I'm Izaya Orihara, and I'm a singer. /
1. Chapter 1 - Shizuo

Hi.  
I'm Shizuo Heiwajima, and I'm a fanfiction writer.

Well, I think my writing skills are pretty bad-ass but I guess not everyone feels that way, judging by my reviews.  
Some say my writing is bad. Some say the grammar, or the layout, or the characters are too out of character to understand.

I say, I don't care what you think. This is my hobby, not my job.

Shall I start over?

Hello, I'm Shizuo Heiwajima - yes, THE Shizuo Heiwajima. Brother of the ledgendary Kasuka Heiwajima and also sworn enemy, or maybe lover- of the infamous Izaya Orihara.  
I'm a debt collector. A cat lover. A monster.

A writer.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"What do you mean it's not good enough?"

"I am sorry mister Heiwajima, but I don't feel as though we could publish such a genre. Thank you, goodbye."

I sigh as I walk out, quietly shutting the small door behind me.  
I'd spent months on these few chapters to try at getting it published. The whole story was basically mine and Izaya's lives - I thought it was a great story.  
I had named it 'Durarara!' after the familiar sound my feet make as I chase after Izaya. But nobody seemed interested in my book. I'd tried ten different publishers, some liked it but couldn't stock it, others hated it.

My feet take me to Simon's all-too-familiar sushi restaurant, where I order Tamago, a sort of half circle of rice compacted with an omlette on top and seaweed wrapped around.  
Usually I don't eat out, I don't get the kind of salary for these treats, but after such a hard day I feel I deserved it.

I hear a familiar voice ask; "What's that?" and the envelope of all my hard work gets tugged out of my hand.

"Flea! Give that back..!" I set my jaw, but I'm not up for it. He can tell, and a smirk spreads across his face.

"Not going to snatch it back? I'll just read it then.." He takes the folded papers out of the envelope, glancing up at me as he did so. I wasn't even going to try to take it.

I turn back to my sushi and continue eating as though he never showed up, but the smell of him and him in the corner of my eye makes me too aware of how much he is there beside me.

"What's this?" Izaya asks flatly.

I glance over to him. His eyes are glued to my writing, though I don't answer his question. Instead, I stuff the rest of the tamago into my mouth and chew.

"Why was I not informed that you're a writer, brute?" I feel his gaze on me, but I stare at my plate - my mouth is too full to speak anyway. "I think I'll take this home with me. I was going to go to the library but this seems better~"

"Izaya, give it back. I don't have another copy." I lied. I had another copy on my laptop.

"Oh, no worries - I'll make sure it's safe in your hands after today. Ja ne~" Izaya takes his take-out fatty tuna and my writing then scuttles away. Like a cockroach.


	2. Chapter 2 - Izaya

Hello, I'm Izaya Orihara, and I'm a singer.

It's more of a guilty pleasure of mine, than anything else.  
I have never sang to anyone other than the internet.  
I'm considered a lot of bad words, bad things - but nobody has considered me a singer.  
Yet.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

I adjust my webcam and microphone slightly, so only my guitar and mouth are visible - like all my other videos - then start the recording.

_" And I'm so tired,_  
_Of these buried lies we spoke about a thousand times _  
_When all your friends stuck by your side,_  
_Turning backs and minds "_

My fingers glide over the strings, though my head stays held high, keeping my mouth on show so the rest of me wouldn't be recognisable.

_" And all this time, you've been stabbing mine  
__And cut and dry at all my pride  
__But there's a scar you'll never find  
__Right behind my eye.."_

I bite my lip a little, tension building up inside me as I slow the strumming slightly and let my previously recorded backing track sing for me for a moment.

My fingers automatically start strumming quickly and I take a quick breath to my stomach.

_" I'm a lighthouse in the dark,_  
_I'll shine a light on every single soul that weeps  
That you have torn  
I'm a lighthouse in the dark,_  
_Directing ships that carry all their broken hearts  
That you have torn apart!"_

I close my eyes and imagine myself on a big stage, strumming my guitar like crazy with the sound of my singing exciting all my fans.

I find the corners of my mouth tugging into a smile while I sing, then I open my eyes and notice something on the camera's sight behind me.  
I stop singing and my guitar goes dead as I turn around. The figure moves away quickly.

"Namie?" I call, a little annoyed. I told her she wasn't needed today. I told her specifically to stay away as I needed my alone time.

"Uh- it's Shizuo." An embarrassed voice calls from behind the sofa.

I feel my face go white, then red-hot. "Sh-Shizu-chan?" I question, hitting the stop button for the recording.

"Uhm, yeah. I.. needed that manuscript..for another.. publisher.." He mumbles quietly and slowly comes into view, bent over a little awkwardly as if the ceiling was really low.

"Bedroom cabinet." I glare at him. "Don't you tell anybody what happened. 'less you want your throat slit."

He looks over to me, cheeks red. "N-no of course not. I think.. you're a really great singer though. You should just.. sing more often. It's a better side of you.."

I'm about to say something, but he rushes off to my bedroom and comes back with his papers.  
"I hope you didn't have a chance to read it." He grumbles.

"Actually, I did."

I don't say anything as he walks out, but I feel my heart sink as I look down to my guitar.

I wouldn't sing for anything or anyone anymore. No matter how many nice comments I get about it..

The thought of my big dream concert comes back to my mind, only this time there's Shizu-chan there, egging me on.  
I hate the thought of it.

I set my guitar down and go to get myself a drink, noticing the door is kicked in. How didn't I notice that?

Singing is my vulnerable stage, I decide. So I won't sing again.


End file.
